Hootie and the BLOWFISH!

Do you remember the 1990 Box Office Hit Misery (Stephen King)?  It starred actor and actress James Caan and Cathy Bates.  Remember the scene where she jacked up his ankles so he couldn't leave and walk?  I seriously wonder if Cathy Bates snuck into my window last night and did the same thing to my ankles. 

Where has my bone structure gone? 
Why are my toes so fat that they literally looked like little smokies? 
Where is my ankle bone?
Why, where, when?!?!?!  I have no freaking clue.

But yet, I sit here in bed and look directly at what I think are my feet and realize that if I want to explain the horrendous nature of my feet to all in cyberland---I just have to say this one word:

BLOWFISH.

My feet seriously look like the body of a blowfish and my toes would be the spikes that are popping out of the sides.  I have been confined to flip flops only (this should be fun in November) and by the time I get home and slide---wait a second...peel the flip flops off you can see the indentation of where a shoe once was, but had been eaten by skin...by a blowfish.

I think I can actually hear my feet getting fatter throughout the day.  I am a sexy beast...it's true.

And nothing helps increase my hotness factor then coming home with my blowfish feet and then putting on an XL Royals shirt (that is actually two sizes too big for my HUSBAND) and my sweatpants.  This life is glorious. 

Gia---Momma is ready for her body back just as soon as your are healthy, grown, and ready to enter this world.

Don't ever say I don't love you girl ;)

~Hootie.