Just Call Me Elaine Benes

One may experience leg cramps during pregnancy.  Oh really?

I had hoped that after 48 hours of recovery I could sit here and write my blog post with recovering calf muscles.  Unfortunately this is not the case.  I have 2 very sore legs (directly in the calf) from what was probably the ugliest and most painful body convulsing cramp session one has ever been through.  Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine attempts to dance?  Remember that unforgettable kick?  I want you to picture that kick, doubled....7 a.m. on Sunday morning with very little sleep.  Here is a visual if you need help to get you there...

At 7 a.m. on Sunday morning I awoke (from what was probably only hour 3 of a terrible night's rest) to my body literally wigging the hell out.  Both of my calves went into a state of shock (probably due to poor blood flow from the extra poundage I am packing these days).  With both of my feet aimed at the wall I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Holy $%^& Daniel my legs are cramping, what do I do, what do I do?"  He responds in a groggy state, "Stretch them out, stretch them out."  Here is how the rest of that conversation went....

R-No $#%* stretch them out, I can't....ahhhhhh eff my life..what is happening? 
D-Can you stand up, do you want me to rub them, what do you want?
R-I want this baby out, I want my feet to not look like I am doing the stanky leg dance.  Help me Dear God.
D-Okay just calm down, stand up...
R- Insert a five minute break of me trying to do this thing he thinks is so easy at nearly 8 months pregnant...standing. 
D- Are you okay?
R- Insert manic state of crying, due to exhaustion, seeing myself in the mirror with my pony tail half cocked on my head, and my huge belly hanging out of my shirt that apparently is too short (I swear this happened overnight, that damn shirt fit the night before).
R-Ahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahah (I could win an Emmy for this)
D- Babe, it's going to be okay, you are doing so great, and you are almost done...so close.
R- crying continues...Ahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahah
D- Come back to bed, and just breath.
R- Ahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahah  (and the award goes to......)

Now, 2 days later I am waddling (usual) with an extra limp due to my sore as hell calves. 

Now walk it out, now walk it out....45 days and counting.