My Crystal Ball

In my future I see:

~a bath towel serving a purpose in my life.  Currently with this protrusion I cannot make it to the bedroom from our master bath without the bulging belly pushing the towel off.  The goods are no longer hidden...when at this juncture...they certainly should be.

~not having to use the bed as an assistant for getting into my underwear.

~a bladder that holds more than a tablespoon of urine, and one that allows me time to walk casually down the hall to empty it...rather than having to kick my penguin waddle into high gear before pissing myself.

~days where I don't have to devise a strategic plan as how I am going to get the pen I just dropped from my hand onto the floor.

~a day at work where my coworker, Jen, doesn't actually know when I have gotten up from a chair due to a grunt or groan.  I also look forward to her not having to yell across the hall, "You okay over there?"

~my lovely lady lumps not looking like a superhighway of veins

~my toes not looking like little smokies.  Oh, that reminds me, I need to pick up some bbq sauce at the store.

~ my crotch

This freaking crystal ball better be right...here's to wishful thinking ;)