Toilet Paper Bandit

Hi, my name is Reagan----and I am a peeaholic.

I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in 24 hours.

I have no idea how this is humanly possible, nor do I have any idea how my pipes have not backed up and forced me to call a plumber.  I know a good one though, so that's good.

I left school today at 4:20, peed before I left.  Got to my chiropractor appointment at 4:35, had to pee before the adjustment.  I peed after the adjustment, guess he adjusted my bladder too.  I made it to Target ten minutes later where I peed.  I grabbed a big bag of candy for my students (okay whatever some of it was for me, back off)...I had to park the cart outside the bathroom to pee again before checking out.  Calm down cashier, I am not stealing the stuff in the cart, I will come back----but so help me God if you stop me, you will be getting a mop and a Caution sign to mark the spot I just dampened.

Since being home, I have now been caught in our master bathroom and the guest bathroom mid stream, just to look down and see there is no toilet paper on the roll.  Apparently the pregnancy brain allows me to forget to refill.  Damn it.

I wonder if I can put toilet paper on my registry?  Angel Soft is my favorite if you are reading this and feeling the need to donate to my TP for ME fund.

The doctor keeps saying, "Gosh, she is just right on your bladder....I mean she really has her head down squishing the crap out of it."  Yes, thank you doctor, I hadn't noticed that every time my child moves, I nearly piss myself, so I appreciate you confirming that.

Last week a student of mine walked into the classroom (she is a tad spacey).  She stepped on my toe (hurt like hell), which caused me to bend over in pain, then her head ran into my stomach.  Ergo...I peed my pants.  This is a true story.  The little girl responds, "Ah Mrs. Allegri, your belly ran right in my head, dang."

I wanted to respond, "Don't PISS me off."

Pun intended.  Much love and hapPEEness.
~Reagan

Cashing In...

I am going to write this tonight because I want to.  It may not make you laugh but it's real...and I pride myself on having a blog that is real.  I am going to write this and I want all my readers to know some very important things, then I will begin.

I realize that the end of this journey is nearing.  I realize that my beautiful baby girl will be joining us in eight short weeks, or less.  I realize that everything I have gone through and done will be worth every single minute when I lay my eyes on her.  I realize that every woman goes through this.  

However...

It's tough.  Sunday and Monday were rough ones on this lady.  I like to think that I am a very positive person.  A glass MORE than half full type of gal.  Someone who has no problem pumping herself up when she gets down or patting herself on the back when good has been done.  BUT, pregnancy is rough.  

Let me take you back to when I first found out I was pregnant with this miracle.  I made a promise to myself to:

1) be one of the most positive pregnant people out there.  After all, I kind of know what I did to get to this point...I signed up for this gig.

2) hold in my complaints and venting sessions until I truly needed a day when I cashed in. 

Today I cash in.

Again, please know I understand this happens, so no "pumping Reagan up" is necessary...I just want to talk.  

I am ready to feel sexy.  I am ready to wear my Miss Me sparkle butt bedazzled jeans that make my ass look phenomenal...I don't even notice my ass anymore...the stomach takes front row (and the stage) all the time.  I want to accessorize because I got new jewelry, not to take the attention from my face that I think now looks likes a huge basketball.  I want to drop the razor in the shower and not think of who's life I would take if given the opportunity b/c I am so pissed.  I want to catch my reflection in the rear view mirror in the car and not want to vomit.  I want to never see the number on that scale EVER again!  I want to feel sexy.  I want to feel sexy.  I want to feel sexy.  

The past few days...I just feel sad.  Sadness is okay though, it's a part of this process.  It proves to me something I honestly didn't know about myself, I can be totally selfless.  I can give up my body (which I used to beat up daily---boy was I dumb) so it can become a safe and peaceful vessel for my daughter to grow inside.  I can do this, and it's okay to have rough days.  It's okay to be sad.  

Okay, I am done spewing, so now I promise to flush the toilet, wipe my fat face and move on.  

Gia, you are worth me missing my bedazzled ass jeans any day...I promise to be out of my funk real soon.  Just as soon as your mom gets a pedicure, her hair highlighted back to blond (the dark is killing me) and a spray tan.

Counting the days until we meet...

My Happy Place!

Earlier this week I climbed into my rocker and sat in Gia's room for 20 minutes rocking back and forth.  Every thought crossed my mind...


How in the world did I ever let this room remain that God awful pink for 2 years?
How small is she going to look inside that enormous crib?  
How quickly will she grow out of it?!
If she came right now, what would I need to have for her?
Will I see Daniel and myself in her?
Why didn't I purchase a rocker just for comfort prior to pregnancy...this thing rocks!
I hope she can feel how much I already love her.
Her grandparents are going to melt when they meet her.
Am I really going to be a Mom in 10 weeks?


No question left me worried or sad, rather it left me with this incredible feeling of gratitude and pure joy.  I cannot wait to be your mom Gia.  I cannot wait to create a friendship like your Grammy and I have.  I can't wait to see how much you fall in love with both sets of grandparents.  I can't wait to see the exact moment you enter this world and melt your Daddy's heart.  Thank you for being ours, I hope we make you happy!

Until you get here sweet baby girl, here are some photos of the room that will be yours in a few short weeks.  This place was created by your Mom and Dad (with many gifts from amazing people) and it's intended to be a place to feel loved, relaxed, and calm.  We hope you like it.

 Aunt Jodi had this made for you.  She matched your room color and the diamond knobs!

 It's all for you Gia Girl.

 Rocker from Wal-Mart, chandelier from Hobby Lobby--the perfect touch!

 Gia, your friends are waiting!  Bunny, Doll, and Alfonzo.  Daddy loved his mustache!

We love your bedding (Gilt Groupe), crib (WalMart), and the cherry blossom wall decal (Etsy)!  Just perfect! 

 Your nightlight is from Mommy's friend Leah and Aunt Angela framed your 3D photo!  Bracelet from Aunt Jodi!

 Your dresser (Big Lots) with changing pad.  Love the ambiance!

 Old school blocks (Babies R Us) remind Mom and Dad of being kids!

 A shelf (Target) with 3 pink baskets.  You already have lots of books to read when you get here!

Letters (JoAnne) and fabric (Hobby Lobby) from your Godmother and then Gramma covered the letters.

Three Quarters

Three quarters have passed and we now enter the final stretch.  Had my doctor appointment on Tuesday and all looked well.  I am measuring as if I am 31 1/2 weeks and Gia's heart rate was around 130 bpm.  I cannot believe how much it has slowed down since the very beginning when she was in the upper 160's.  She is calming down and getting into her comfy zone!

We now begin seeing our OB every two weeks...this is going to fly by!!!

Noticing her being active in the mornings around 10-11 a.m. (usually after I have a snack...some sort of fruit).  She is always good about kicking for me around 5-6 p.m. as well.  We are getting near the finish line and the anticipation is building about what to expect when you arrive sweet baby girl!

Here I am .... in all my glory at 30 weeks pregnant! Yikes...I am big! :)

My Crystal Ball

In my future I see:

~a bath towel serving a purpose in my life.  Currently with this protrusion I cannot make it to the bedroom from our master bath without the bulging belly pushing the towel off.  The goods are no longer hidden...when at this juncture...they certainly should be.

~not having to use the bed as an assistant for getting into my underwear.

~a bladder that holds more than a tablespoon of urine, and one that allows me time to walk casually down the hall to empty it...rather than having to kick my penguin waddle into high gear before pissing myself.

~days where I don't have to devise a strategic plan as how I am going to get the pen I just dropped from my hand onto the floor.

~a day at work where my coworker, Jen, doesn't actually know when I have gotten up from a chair due to a grunt or groan.  I also look forward to her not having to yell across the hall, "You okay over there?"

~my lovely lady lumps not looking like a superhighway of veins

~my toes not looking like little smokies.  Oh, that reminds me, I need to pick up some bbq sauce at the store.

~ my crotch

This freaking crystal ball better be right...here's to wishful thinking ;)

Showering Us With Love

Last Sunday my girlfriends threw me a shower...by far the best baby shower I have ever been to.  All the stops were pulled out and I was just amazed at how incredibly lucky I am to have such wonderful women in my life.  The beautiful shower was thrown by 6 women whom I am so lucky to call friends: Angela, Jamie, Liz, Laurel, Gabby and Molly.

To all my ladies...may you always know how much I adore you and how grateful I am that you are a part of my life.

My wish is that my daughter is able to be surrounded by as many phenomenal women as I was at my shower.  If she is, then she will have known what happiness and true friendship really are.

One week later and I am still grinning ear to ear that I have the pleasure of introducing my daughter to all the girls who support and love me unconditionally.  Thanks again friends. Here are some pictures of some amazing gifts!!!

3D Ultrasound & 28 Week Bump!

Today we went to Belly Image in Lenexa to have our 3D Ultrasound done!  What a cool place, I highly recommend it, the ladies there are so sweet and it was a great experience.  We were able to get 8 photos printed off for us (what they call Instant Gratification) and a CD with over 80 3D images and a DVD of the entire live sonogram.  :)

Here are some of my favorites of Miss Gia, she was a little sleepy and a little shy (always wanting something by her face whether it be her hand, her foot, or all 4...yes all 4 she had up in her face for the last 10 minutes!!)  What a stinker.  She's gorgeous, no question about it and I am getting so anxious to hold her and meet her.

Also, here is my 28 week baby bump...gotta be honest, I am not in love with any pictures of me at this point, so it's getting difficult to WANT to post pics!